Q: I am a Breatharian who subsists solely on fresh air and sunlight. How can I enjoy fourings?

A: You might take pleasure in the following smells:

  • kerosene
  • muskrat
  • petunia extract

and the following sounds:

  • fanning the pages of a phone book
  • a toilet flush
  • a dog’s squeak toy

JUST KNOW THIS HOWEVER: at four in the afternoon, me and Gloria Estefan and certain ‘N SYNC bandmembers are going to get together for a little informal jam sesh with clams casino and sweet potato pies but sadly, you will have to miss out on this because you will be too busy sniffing muskrats and listening to toilet water.

Monday, March 22, 2010 — 4 notes
  1. fourings posted this