Q: My boss only gives me a five minute break at four in the afternoon. Can you recommend a fourings dish that i can eat quickly by myself in the utility closet.

A: Fourings is not just about food, it’s also about camaraderie. Noshing a Charleston Chew™ by yourself next to dirty mops is not really in the spirit of this time-honored meal. Therefore, You may be able to solve both your problems in this manner:

  1. Invite your boss to accompany you to the utility closet.
  2. From your knapsack, pull out a 2 foot salami, some Grey Poupon™ mustard, and a box of Franzia Vintner Select Shiraz™.
  3. Eat and drink and be comrades.
  4. When the clock strikes 4:06, say something like, “Guess we need to get back to work, I might as well pour this Franzia Vintner Select Shiraz™ into the mop water…” If your boss is human, your boss will stop you and then will mention that it wouldn’t hurt things if your break was extended to 4:10 or even 4:15!
  5. If everything goes according to plan, you will find yourself with more time to enjoy fourings AND a special person in your life to enjoy it with.
Monday, April 12, 2010