Anonymous asked: Is it wrong to eat fourings with a three-pronged fork?
Are there any other fourings faux-pas?

the answers to both questions are yes. other fourings faux pas include (but are not limited to):

• “guarding” your meal like a cowboy eating chow: fourings is about camaraderie and therefore sharing.
• competitive eating: if cramming matzoh balls down your esophagus is your game, then there are plenty of other venues for it. the atmosphere at fourings should be convivial not competitive.
• giving your friends purple nurples (this needs no explanation).
• fourings is a world meal: one should keep in mind that there will be a great many fourings this month throughout the course of the world cup. it is considered pure hooliganism to deride the fourings menus of other countries, especially the inferior countries that your country is playing. example: one must refrain from commenting on the greasy fish and overly-fried chips of england fouringses when having a fourings of perfectly-cooked sliders and a wedge of american apple pie during tomorrow’s big match.